You know you’re from lahore when…
after the unlimited success of “you know you’re from karachi when…” list, i stumbled upon a similar list for lahori’s on Moonflower’s blog. So without further ado…
- The first 15 channels on your cable are dedicated to stage shows mujras
- The morning rush hour is from 6am to 12pm. The evening rush hour is from 2pm to 9pm. Saturday’s rush hour starts Friday morning.
- You buy anything and everything from Al-Fatheh
- Your Massi and Driver have taught you fluent punjabi
- Your broke ass next door neighbour just bought a BMW cuz he deals in property
- A really souped up civic from tokyo drift stops next to you and instead of something groovy, the woofers blare out himesh rishamya
More after the jump
- One of your friends is a butt
- The people in your local Gourmet Bakery know you by face
- Attended a shaadi that had to have a mujra
- The only solution to boredom is eating out
- All directions start with, “Go down to Main boulevard”
- You think its okay to wait 5 hours in line for Basheer’s Fish in Mazang, cuz dude! he only opens 6 months a year
- You go to Shahjamal every thursday to smoke weed with pappu sain
- Its okay to run a red light if the traffic police dude doesnt have a bike to chase you
- When someone asks you “bhai yeh fortress kahan hai”, you have an evil grin on your face and send him to johar town
- If your hungry at 3am, you go to CTC in your PJ’s instead of walking to your kitchen
- Your cousins from karachi ask you about food street and your like “yeah i went there back in 2003″
- Your winning argument about how lahore is better than karachi is ‘Lahore laa hour aaye’
- Your childhood dream of attaining higher education was from Aitchison or Kinnard.
- You always count the change before you leave shop, beacuse all shop keepers rip you off.
- You always thank the rude shop owner because he actually “let you buy something from his shop”
- You know that its in evitable that you’ll be “chalaned” on mall road.
- Your cousins from america ask you about malls and your like “Yea we have Pace, but i never go there”
- You go to the daewoo more than the airport
Got more? add to the comments list!
well … great work, i would agree with 95% of them :)
Nice post mansoor! :) Keep it up. I had this post sent by one of my friends sometime in May. The difference is that the first point mentioned as second last in the one I had. :)
Definitely a good one in a long time!
Thanks for sharing! :)
You know you are from Lahore when ….you visit Lahore MetroBlog at least three times everyday :)
Brilliant :D..
You know you’re Crazy about Lahore if not one but 3 of your opened browser windows are pointing to lahore.metblogs.com :D
^ do tabs count as well?
Surely! :)
clichés clichés
because the heading says ‘You know you’re from lahore when…’, everyone feels oblidged to agree to it somewhat for one’s own credibility sake…sigh..
may be a couple are true..
A few changes:
*** You buy anything and everything from HKB :-)
*** The first 15 channels are the CRAPPY CD channels with quizes and advertisements that can drive you crazy in minutes (I noticed the channels you mentioned are lessened now)
+++===++++++===++++++===++++++===+++
Now examining the cross-section of post :P
Your Massi and Driver have taught you fluent punjabi
(if I’m from lahore I should be knowing punjabi anyways ;-)
Attended a shaadi that had to have a mujra
Discos are THE IN thing with all that groove and BASS, baby :P
When someone asks you “bhai yeh fortress kahan hai”, you have an evil grin on your face and send him to johar town
Hahaha …
He will ask “Pha’yee-jun aye fortress da rusta kair’ha aye “
You always thank the rude shop owner because he actually “let you buy something from his shop”
Lahori’s are the best shopkeepers and If I say so – it’s reality :-p
Ajay aynaa iii batheraa aye *_*
Lahori Shop Keepers:
Aap be-fikar ho kai lay jayen… boos.. Jenyun hai .. :)
A4P: lol… this is exactly what i was thinking of doing, i.e. examining the post point by point :)…. (all genius people think alike i guess)
Anyway, here’s my take on it:
First 15 channels: Now they are dedicated to camera print movies with serious sound quality problems…
rush hour: spot on
Al-Fatheh: well technically i dont live in lahore these days and still i end up buying a lot of things from alfatah (mainly cuase i have no idea where else can i find them :)
Punjabi: every lahori is born with an inherent understanding of this language :)
BMW: spot on. i know ppl like that
himesh rishamya: :)
One of your friends is a butt: One of mine is :)
local Gourmet Bakery: Very true
Shaadi: Bhangra & Hip Hop… never seen a mujra!
eating out: true for entire Pakistan
“Go down to Main boulevard”: Spot on
Basheer’s Fish in Mazang: i ve actually waited many times in line :)
Pappu sain: kehnay main kiya harj hai….
Red Light: everyone knows that. no bikes, no issues.
fortress kithay aye: i think i’ll faint if someone asks me this in Lahore.
CTC: Oh thats sooooooo true :)
food street: i went there back in 2004 :)
‘Lahore laa hour aaye’: need i say more!
Aitchison or Kinnard: then NCA or LUMS or walayat (england or amreeca)
shop keepers: i think they are fair…
mall road: i ve been challaned there. so is everyone i know (almost)
Pace: i never go there :)
daewoo: naah… i go to airport far too often.
Overall brilliant points.
and i have so much freeeeee time rite now :)))
OP: Oh yes, AP BAY FIKAR ho kar lain jayein…ufff…….too common. Jo ye bolta hay, wohi sub say bara…bazigar :)
Yup.. Bus usi cheez mai masla hoga… Bus samajh lain, wohi cheez nahi laini :)
aahooo :D
ok what’s mujra and chalaned? does the latter mean pickpocketted?
Where or what is daewoo? I tot its a brand of audio stuffs and whatever?
Why is that shop open for just 6mths a year?
I would answer 2 and 3..
Daewoo is a Bus Service used to travel among different cities of Pakistan. It uses the famous Motorway to make it faster and on time transits. This service is quite punctual and haven’t got changed over the time.
Shop opens for 6 months a year? I believe you’re talking about Bashir Darul Mahi. It actually opens for 8 months and closes for 4. This shop sells one of the best fried fish in town. And it opens only in the seasons when fish is readily available and it suits for Lahori guys according to Lahori Weather. i.e. The months with a letter “R” in it. SeptembeR, OctobeR, NovembeR, DecembeR, JanuaRy, FebRuaRy, MaRch, ApRil. The weather is a bit pleasant to cold during these months which makes it perfect for fish eaters. Some say it also has something to do with fishes laying eggs during those seasons, so they keep the shop closed for it. I’m not sure for this bit.
Sorry, forgot about challanned. Its like Panelty or Ticketing. Normally Speed Tickets or Rule Breaking Tickets for Traffic. The traffic police gives you a chalaan *ticket* and you have to submit some amount in the bank to get away.
The short process is that you do a ‘muk muka’. Means bribe him for some tea/biscuit. :) Give some 200 bucks or something and he let you go! :) ~ I don’t know about current ‘Rate’ :) So just assuming Rs. 200.
C’mon Opee, please also explain what a ‘mujra’ is. Is it some special kinda dish served in shadis or something?
*V-with-an-innocent-looking-face-and-a-twinkling-halo-just-above-his-head*
Hi Mansoor,
Great list. I felt like I have done most of the things mentioned in it. Its also nice to know other Lahore bloggers. Would definitely subscribe to yours.
Take a look at my blog at http://thedostishow.blogspot.com. I used to do an online radio show, hence the name of the blog. Looking forward to your feedback.
All the best,
Adnan
@V-with-an-innocent-looking-face-and-a-twinkling-halo-just-above-his-head: “C’mon Opee, please also explain what a ‘mujra’ is. Is it some special kinda dish served in shadis or something?”
V, Its for me to know and for you to find out! :)
*Opee-with-an-evil-looking-face-and-a-pointing-horns-on-his-head*
@SUH: You can find rather more precise information about your first point(NOT-the-dish-that-is-being-served-in-Weddings) here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mujra
Yea Yea and you too @V (the-angel-faced-evil). >:)
.. aisay hi mauq’oN par, aap jaison ke liye hi Maulana Elvis Presley farmatay hain ..
“V” look like an angel
Walk like an angel
Talk like an angel
But I got wise
You’re the devil in disguise
Oh yes you are
The devil in disguise .. hmmm.. >:) lol.
http://www.lyrics007.com/Elvis%20Presley%20Lyrics/Devil%20In%20Disguise%20Lyrics.html
No pun intended V! :) Muskaratay Raho!
^ I’m glad you chose NOT to quote the next line of that song! ;D
@JUS:
For cryin’ out loud, you can’t trust a Wikipedia entry, it’s edited by people like us! Very untrustworthy!
From what I’ve heard from my really ‘shareef’ friends, ‘mujra’ is a kind of a ‘laddoo’ that is only made on some special weddings. When you visit Lahore for the first time this winter, do ask your hubby to take you to a wedding that has a ‘mujra’ as well. :)
*V-still-with-an-innocent-looking-face-and-a-twinkling-halo-just-above-his-head*
V i’m bringing my groom to beat you bad on this. :) Don’t trust him JUS! (sorry i called you SUH before ~ may be its because I saw Rang De Basanti Movie last night :)).
ap log Jus ko tang na karo :D
groom :S … lol :S man.. i need a serious sleep :| .. it was broom! :P :S
Pretty Simple said:
ap log Jus ko tang na karo :D
Let me translate it for our friend JUS as she’s from Singapore (I guess?):
Pretty simple said:
Jus, trust Opee whatever he says!”
*/me snatched the halo from V and having it on my head this time*
lolzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
You know you’re from lahore when…
You’re served Nihari & Sirri Paaye at a business meeting :P
Jus: When u visit Lahore, beware of the people who have either “an innocent-looking-face-and-a-twinkling-halo-just-above-their-head” or “an-evil-looking-face-and-pointing-horns-on-their-head”…:)
Dont ask either of them “where is the fortress stadium”… they will probably direct you to johar town :)
… Lo… where else Fortress then? Isn’t it near Expo Centre in Johar Town? >:P~
oho…is it there? i dint know i just had icecream from Iceberg in “Johar town” :p
U? Not again :(
so… is Fortress Stadium a cricket stadium or a hockey stadium???
i wud say, all rounder :)
Multi-use stadium.
You can even have Kabaddi Match over there.. Or Kukkar Fight! :)
lolz@Kukkar fight,,,post comin’ up :)
.. anxiously, truly, madly, deeply waiting! :)
@PS: Kukkar Fight is so cruel :{
@Opee:
Groom!!??!! :S Is that really allowed in Canada? I mean, beating someone with a broom and not what you think I meant! ;D
and yeah, you can keep that halo… it’s brass. jenyun ghar par chhor kar ata hoon! ;)
lol… Nop. I was talking about a Virtual Broom. ~ Thanks for the Halo.. *Woohoo* :)
For those who don’t know:
Fortress Stadium is right next to BRB Canal and it is also popularly known as Chauburji and is also sometimes used as an emergency landing strip. :)
Na, wrong number. Thats Liberty Maar-kutt. :P
Goshhh…I totally forgot where i was heading for … :|
Ok ..i m lost, m i in Lahore? :|
Isn’t Liberty Maar-kutt on the beach??… the one with light house and elephant walkways…?
Fortress Stadium (also known as Dungi Ground) as far as i remember is located inside Changa Manga (also known as Jallo Park – the one that features both Soze and DHA cinemas).
/@|@\ oh khudaya
-
@OP: Someone was looking for a holo collector after bone collector :p …becareful.
@Pretty Simple: dont u worry. Me, Opee and V will be your guide in the beautiful, historical city of Lahore… u seem new here :)…
yes…i m feelin like new to this city..err..ummm….where is Torlinton Markeeet?
@PS:
You were heading towards Bano Bazaar which is on Raiwind Road right next to Hafeez Center behind Aitchison and Gulshan-e-Iqbal Park.
@PS:
You were heading towards Bano Bazaar which is on Raiwind Road right next to Hafeez Center behind Aitchison and Gulshan-e-Iqbal Park.
lolllzzzz………..u think i m a fool and i dont know where bano bazar is. I know banoo bazar is at kalma chowk near Airport where Kinneird College fourth gate is located…baaaaat kartay hain.
@Pretty Simple: dont u worry. Me, Opee and V (Read, Babbo Baral, Sohail Ahmed and Mastana) will be your guide in the beautiful, historical city of Lahore… u seem new here :)…
and i always thought kinnaird college fourth gate is an imaginary gate which only exists in the virtual world…
Upon researching it further, i think both of you are right. Bano Bazaar is in fact on raiwind road (named after Rai Wind Mal of Lahore) which starts from Kinnaird college (also known as Aitchison College), whose fourth gate is one of the 12 gates of lahore. other gates include bhati, lohari, mochi, qissai, plumber, electrician and so on…
@Opee: NO NO NO! I don’t want to be Mastana! Can I please be… umm… err… someone else? :S
Kinnaird! *sigh*
I feel like going into seclusion!
*V-picks-up-pieces-of-his-broken-heart-and-starts-trudging-slowly-towards-the-exit*
@OP: lolzzz@Babbo Baral, Sohail Ahmed and Mastana.
@faraz: Lahori Gate? the one near Border, where there is Alhamra arts counsil, near…ummm Akbar Chownk????
no that’s Neela Gunbad (Riazuddin Neela Gunbad)… its called Lahori Gate only for one month in a year (from 15 Dec to 15 Jan) when they have a winter sale (sale sale sale) going on. That’s why they say, 11 maheenay saday tay ik maheena tuhada…
…. and the winner is: Faraz! :)
was there a Kukkar Fight goin on???
i didnt even notice…
Electra Faraz ka huaa! :)
Hey guys, kukkar fight story is up. Its really a nice one. A dream of a Fighter!
no, actually it was a Kukkar Pageant Show and since you were the sole contestant, you ended up winning it! :P
@faraz: Congrats for winning Electra again. No Kukuar fight, but an interview with a kukar :)
@V: lol
Kukkar na hua, Vampire ho gaya :D – Tom Cruise Kukkar!
woh… main itnay saaray Electra lay kar kiya karoon ga… woh bhi black & white. Can i instead run for the Tap Prize, i.e. Suzuki Car… the one that Hasan just bought…:)
Did anyone notice a Cruise Ship named Anarkali has docked in the BRB Canal and Nirala Interational Airport is being relocated to Allama Iqbal Sweets… :P
OH my god you guys are funny!
Thanks Opee for your answer… and thanks PS for the translation, so i shld trust OPee and NOt V?? hehe… until i meet u guys i shant trust ALL! HAHAHA *Evilest laughter*
Opee.. i dont even know what SUH is so im not offended… what i know is Rang de Basanti’s ending is SOOOOOOOOOOOO crappy!! But I love Amir Khan. That’s the only reason i watch it.
@V: U burst my bubble man… i tot Wikipedia was informative, useful, thorough and professionally researched….
@Faraz: wise ppl who have won many black and white electras, sell them and buy cholaas (channay) :D and then eat them.
Great work dude, I will try something like this for Islamabad tomorrow :D
Asma, I mean Apple…care to chip in :P ?
BOSS – any time you say :P
I think LMB team would love to help you out in making up the list :)
For IMB, a suggestion:
You know you are from Islamabad when milk delivered by Gawalas in the city smells of Bhang! 8P
You know you’re from Islamabad when you’re not actually from Islamabad :)
Adding to Lahore’s score:
You know you are from Lahore when obesity is a concern among the family…:)
sorry for my ignorance but what is CTC??
Hasan – a concern ?? ya khatay piitay ghar say ;-)
PS, HM, Opee we’ll be glad :-)
@MAB: CTC stands for ‘Coffee, Tea & Company’ – an upscale cafe in Lahore that serves the best in cakes, brownies, shakes, deli, sandwiches and every other kind of yum-yums…B)
Lahore = obese?!?!?
Mostly i saw my hubby’s friends’ pictures.. the guys are all stick thin! Which is kinda rare in singapore.
And his mum is hoping he’ll gain much weight after marriage. and he HAS! by 10kg after 5months!
You know you are from Lahore when ladies of the house ‘have’ to visit Liberty atleast once a week…