Hell’s Ground, as it is titled in English, premiered at LUMS last year. Most of its cast and crew does not belong to typical Lollywood crowd. In fact the only “known” faces you will see would be actor Rehan who makes a comeback to silver screen after more than 30 years, and whose last famous role was that of Dracula in Pakistan’s very first horror movie “Zinda Lash” (The living corpse) in 1967 – Zinda Lash incidentally was recently rediscovered from “rusty old cans” in a film studio. The other known face is model Adnan Malik in a small cameo, although if IMDB is to be believed, the producers at one point of time were considering Indian actor Saif Ali Khan for this role.

To be exact, no zombies are wearing saris in this movie. Burqas yes… chappals too, but it appears that the dress of choice for most of the zombies in the flick was plain simple shalwar qameez. As a matter of fact, the movie features so many things “desi”, in a typical gore backdrop nonetheless, that at times “horror” takes a backseat to the sheer joy of watching something you can easily relate to. Dusty and deserted roads leading to outskirts of Islamabad, an old Khokha out of nowhere offering “deewane ki mastani chai”, featuring an eerie old man who claims that his chai is “world famous” as the likes of Queen Elizabeth, Lady Diana, Henry Kissinger and recently Angelina Jolie alongwith her “boyfriend” stopped by for the same. The background music frequently shifting to classic Punjabi tracks of 1980’s Lollywood films, a van that seemed to pop straight out of a studio in Lahore that made Maula Jutt and its contemporaries, a bunch of teenagers from urban Pakistani middle class, speaking half English half Urdu sentences (well the curses were almost always in English though), the broken limbs, flesh eating zombie from a village in hell, a Barri Bua exhibiting typical warmth for her children and then turning into a crazy revenge seeking menace, a forceful hitchhiker from a “peer’s tomb” who suddenly gets awfully thirsty, a dark foggy jungle described as “the road to the hell” – This movie has it all, and does pretty well with all of it.

So what exactly is Zibahkhana all about. If you put your logical, rational thinking hat on (which you should not be wearing all the time) Zibahkhana appears to be a low budget horror movie with some shockingly gore scenes. The movie is indeed low budget. The acting is somewhere between average and below average (with the exception of Rubya Chaudhry who acted brilliantly at times). Camera work is so so, story is very predictable and editing could have been crispier. But (and this is where you must take off that ugly looking logical hat for a while) all the above elements add to the “classiness” of the film, believe it or not. Zibahkhana, is nothing like your average blockbuster big budget entertainers. It’s a typical independent movie to the core. It’s different, very different, from what you would expect from our Desi cinema. And it certainly defies the logic that you need to have everything exactly where it belongs to make a good movie. Nothing in Zibahkhana seems where it belongs. The lighting, the acting, the props, the works, and yet it works out so neatly that you end up watching a fairly enjoyable thriller at the end of the day. (Note: not for a weak of heart)

For more info on Zibahkhana:

IMDB
Time
Telegraph

1) Our local TV has become extremely uninteresting
2) Our local TV tends to over-hype, dramatize, scandalize and criticize every single news event to the last extent known to mankind
3) I prefer internet as a more reliable source of news on Pakistan

But today I sat down for a while to watch a news channel. Three pieces of news one after the other struck me and I will paraphrase them here without commenting on them. It may be business as usual (or life as usual) in our country, but it hasn’t always been like this… or has it?

a) Severe traffic jam in Lahore due to a mass procession in front of Governor’s House. The protestors were carrying 3 corpses of their tribe/community who were killed in a clash. The scenes were very disturbing. Chief Minister Punjab had to come over and negotiate.
b) Similar protest in front of Governor’s house in Quetta on the same day. I have actually forgotten what was this protest about, but probably on some killings as well. As I said, these instances are business as usual now.
c) A tribal clash broke out some days ago on killing of a dog. The rival tribes fought for a few days (killing several people) before the elders were able to sort it out. As a way of punishment, one tribe handed over its 10 young girls to the rival tribe along with 7 lakh rupees.

A few days ago, mob in Karachi burnt a couple of thugs to death on the grounds that police would not be able to get them prosecuted. A few days later mob in Lahore tried to do something similar.

Before that we were trying to figure out why do we have 3000W shortage of electricity leading to 6-8 hours loadshedding per day, not to mention shortage of wheat which is supposed to be the staple food of Pakistan, an agriculture based country.

And before that we were having one new suicide bombing every 6th day in one city or the other.

And before that we were trying to cope with a situation where our GDP growth targets were being revised downwards, while inflation (food, fuel and housing) kept going upwards.

And before that our major problems were 55% illiteracy, utter lack of health facilities outside main cities, serious pollution and frequent violence inside main cities and corruption everywhere around.

Not to mention poverty and lawlessness… the list goes on…

However I don’t blame the present or any of the past governments. The problems that we have are much more deep rooted. One particular regime (whether Mush (1999-2007) or PPP (1988-90, 1993-5) or PML-N (1990-93, 1995-9) cannot be blamed for all this and that. Maybe as a society, we have all failed in doing our bit, or making our contribution towards progress.

After all, when we blame the mob, we forget that in aggregate terms, “we” are the mob. Why don’t we look at things this way… if 55% of Pakistanis are illiterate, mathematically speaking we all are 55% illiterate, no matter what degrees we tend to flaunt among peers and friends… it’s only when we start to realize our duty as citizens (not that of standing in protests and shouting slogans, but that of actually doing something constructive and positive)… only then we will achieve anything.

In the nutshell I didn’t quite grow up to begin with… living in the city of Lahore (outside the walls though) during the times when time hardly passed and things hardly happened.

Then in the early nineties I went abroad. A short stint during high school to get accustomed to the rest of the world. Interestingly, as soon as I left Lahore, the city started changing… no wait, it actually started magnifying, electrifying and embracing a major paradigm make-over. And that too at a pretty brisk pace. So it was a fairly different Lahore to which I came back just a few years later. Lahore under full fledged democracy… pseudo nonetheless. At the onset though, it appeared to be a highly corrupt, self centered and unfriendly society trying to make its mark in transparency international reports and through unaccounted for and bizarre series of socio-political and economic events. However a deeper scrutiny revealed a silent transformation towards maturity… and towards modernity. Bit by bit though, and giving way to intense materialism, as a way of side effect.

Flooded with mobile phones (without SMS; they came later… and with incoming call charges), internet and CDs (even DVDs came later), late night hangouts and soft drink sponsored basants, satellite TV (cable came later too) with Indian reality shows that hardly had anything to do with reality, expanding roads, overhead bridges, new buildings, new factories, and what looked like a dusty path towards self attained prosperity. This was Lahore on a bumpy ride… hardly perfect, but better than before… So I imagined.

Then came 2001, and the Afghan War (part 2); this time without drugs and Kalashnikov; and for a while it mattered not much to anyone living here. The city kept flourishing, progressing; new buildings kept popping up, roads kept getting better, neater, cleaner, and larger… and everything kept waking up to life every now and then. But how can there be a war (cold or otherwise) and Pakistan be not involved in it. So it did; and the war actually spilled over to our doorstep… perils of it, this time around, being suicide bombings and terrorism… not sporadic, but very frequent… not fictional, but very real. That coupled with a “crisis of the month” situation did not quite make a decent bed time story. And with time it only got worse. And with more time, it came to the point when everyone I knew had been to at least one place; a building, a road or a mosque, which later-on was subject to a (suicide or otherwise) bomb blast. And everyone I knew, hated the fact that there seemed to be less and less electricity, let alone peace and quiet at either political front, or any other. Pakistan came to be known as the most dangerous place on earth… a title I still disagree with, even though I wouldn’t mind calling it the “most happening” place on earth.

This is pretty much where we stand today.

The reason that I just wrote the above passage was not to repeat what everyone already knows. The reason for writing the above is fairly simple… and personal.

Fairly simple because I grew up in Lahore in the eighties – when time hardly passed and things hardly happened. Now I am here in the late 00s – and the time does pass quickly and things do happen… we seem to have taken a 180 degree turn (or is it 360 degrees?). But isn’t it still the same old dusty path towards what might someday be a stable, self attained, socio-economic prosperity? We still haven’t quite gotten rid of the perils of the old past (the sheer backwardness and the senseless streaks that sometimes overwhelm our society)… So how long would it take us to get rid of the perils of new present and the upcoming future?

And personal because I have just crossed the age of 30. I have to take a decision whether to establish myself for the rest of my life here, or somewhere else. Should I be hopeful as in the nineties, or depressed as in the eighties, or both at the same time? Should I watch with keen interest what unfolds every now and then, or should I just ignore it all?

On 23^rd March, our national day, as I put on the TV, all I see is the flock of gigantic floats, strolling on the roads like mythical creatures, carrying missiles and tanks on their shoulders. What I don’t see is what I want to see. A peaceful, modern, stable and still very happening (without being dangerous) Pakistan. And our cities (whether Lahore, Karachi or Islamabad) that relish culture, creativity and maturity… centers of excellence.

And this is me in an optimistic tone.

1) Istanbul – Turkey.  2) Sari Won – Democratic Republic of Korea.  3) Xian – China.  4) Kortrijk – Belgium.  5) Fez  – Morocco.  6) Cordoba – Spain.  7) Samarkand – Uzbekstan.  8) Isfahan – Iran.  9) Mashad  – Iran.  10) Glasgow – UK.  11) Chicago – USA

To me, the above is quite a fascinating mix of metropolitans. But the question is, which of the above fits the title of “Lahore’s twin” most appropriately? and which of the above is least similar to Lahore? and why?

Also which other city (or cities) do you think should be twinned with Lahore?

As per the following news report, “Glasgow is the only city working on enhancing the ties between the two cities. It has offered training facilities to the Rescue 1122 officials besides donating firefighting vehicles.”

http://www.dailytimes.com.pk/default.asp?page=2007%5C03%5C02%5Cstory_2-3-2007_pg7_43

Now I understand that many of LMB readers are not from Pakistan, or this region entirely. So for their benefit in particular, let me first explain what ICL is… no wait, let me start with explaining what cricket is.

The Webster’s dictionary (named after the famous linguist, Thomas Dictionary) describes cricket as a form of insect that trots in the outdoors when one wants to have a good night sleep. Off course Webster’s dictionary says the same thing about lollywood. So we can’t take Webster’s dictionary too seriously.

Cricket in fact is a form of sport, run by a governing body called ICC. Now for those who follow the game closely on an hourly basis, you must have noticed an immense conflict these days between two major forces in Cricket…. the batsmen and the bowlers. This is pretty much all one has to know about cricket to get involved. Off course once you do get involved, chances are that you will be fed with so many intricate nitty gritties of the game, that football (another major sport) will seem like a mere prank, against the overwhelmingly complicated game of cricket.

ICL is one such complication in the game these days. So now that you have gained enough raw knowledge to comment on this post, let me get back to the main point; ICL has a new team, called Lahore Badshahs.

Captained by our ex captain Inzy, Lahore Badshahs comprises all those Pakistani players who have left the lucrative (hint hint) careers as “test rejects” to join the wannabe rebel league. And there are plenty of them. In fact, Lahore Badshahs has assembled a cast of quite a few ex-match winners, that it can, in fact, create a major upset in the tournament… such as Pakistani players winning matches… The batting line-up comprises Inzy himself, alongwith Imran Nazir, Imran Farhat, Taufiq Umer, Hamayun Farhat, Navid Latif and Hasan Raza, as well as the wicketkeeper batsman Moin Khan. But it’s actually the bowling line-up that makes the team strong, including fast bowlers such as Mohammad Sami, Shahid Nazeer, Riaz Afridi and Rana Naveed ul Hasan alongwith old (by age) spinners such as Mushtaq Ahmed, Arshad Khan, and (not so old still) Saqlain Mushtaq. All rounder Azhar Mahmood also makes the 16 men squad.

Granted, most of these players are not actually from Lahore. But then Chris Cairns in not exactly from Chandigarh and Marvan Atapattu and Shane Bond are not from Delhi either. So it’s the name of the team that’s important rather than who plays in it.

In the first round of current series, Lahore Badshahs are right now right at the top of the table, having won all 3 matches they played, securing 6 points.

Now what happens if Lahore Badshahs go on to win ICL? How would PCB react to that? Will the ban on these ICL players be lifted if they bring home some glory? and where exactly is Abdur Razzaq? are some of the questions which are yet to be answered. Till we have an answer to these, lets watch some more cricket!!!

Therefore in case you find this post useless, senseless, unreasonable, irrelevant, uncouth (hain ji), and un-cal sargam, please keep in mind that a) this post mentions Lahore 7 times and b) I am getting used to nasty comments so please feel free to leave one.

Having said that, here are the few things I wanted to post / announce.

First the new design / structure of LMB: Good news for iPhone users. The new metblogs sites (possibly due to wordpress) get automatically adapted to iphone sets giving you a very easy and user friendly navigation control. In fact its much nicer to access LMB though iphone than through a regular PC. (I dont know how many LMB readers use iPhone… maybe its just a guy named bilal)

Second: I hear that the wheat crisis is over. so no need to switch to cakes anymore. One less thing to worry about.

Third: The global community is quite surprised that Pakistan’s elections went ahead, peacefully, freely and fairly… and everyone accepted the results. Heck with global community, even our local population is quite surprised.
Fourth: Someone at LMB must write a post on basant and must do it fast. And someone from his/her home must write a nasty comment against basant (ban basant) and must do it fast.
Thats all for now. Hopefully i will be back soon with more useful posts in future. Even though being optimistic is weird… i have been told.

You have entered the seventh largest country of the world…

A country boosting some of the biggest metropolitan cities on earth… one of the oldest civilizations in human history… and one of the most fascinating cultures in today’s world.

You begin to wonder if you will get to unveil those legends of “mysterious east”… fully aware of the fact that you are entering a third world, developing country, boosting itself as the world’s seventh nuclear power…

Welcome to Pakistan… you have arrived at the center stage, and the forefront, of the world’s newest buzz words, “the war on terror”

But don’t panic… you will not get to “see” or even “feel” the war being fought here. You can calmly leave the airport, take a cab and drive across the city of Lahore. Chances are that you will find it more peaceful and orderly than New York, more culturally rich than Mumbai and more scenic than London.

But don’t be deceived by this either. You have entered a country at the peak of high voltage political drama… its social volatility will soon baffle your senses… the ironies, the paradoxes, the inherent conflicts and the poles-apart points of view will challenge your brain cells.

You will take some time to get accustomed to its intrinsic fiber… you will be amazed at the way the global media depicts a somber picture… you will be reminded that when this country stumbles into crisis, the world holds its breath… a slight stir in its ideological mix, and the world misses a heartbeat…

Relishing your stay in Lahore, you will start to wonder; “what crisis”… notwithstanding the fact that the country just came under an Emergency Rule. Some of your friends will call it the most dangerous place on earth. Other will call it just exciting and dynamic, with equal conviction. Some will never want to be here. Some will not want to take their eyes off it, forever.

A deeper insight will reveal the “brilliance” it carries; not through the “larger picture” or the macro economic view, rather through small yet significant occurrences, the deep rooted traditions, the mystic wavelength of its people, the volatile partiality, the folklore of passion, the innovative mindset, the innate flashes of brilliance coming out of nowhere…

You will ponder on it’s current political climate, thinking that this is exactly what the doctor did not order for this land. You will begin to wonder how things would have been had there not been all that crisis, violence, corruption and volatility.

And you will be thinking about it while driving alone in downtown Lahore late in the evening, or having a hearty traditional dinner at a small roadside restaurant well past midnight, considering it neither dangerous, nor unusual.

While going back from this land, again carrying your luggage, walking through the enormous walkways, you will begin to feel ecstatic. You will sense a strange affection for this place; the people and the things.

You will go back with a sense of belonging. You will want to tell its story to the strangers you have never met, and to the bystanders who never listen. You will joyfully cheer for its cricket team whenever you can, and you will excitedly follow the developments at its domestic front, reading between the lines from the global media.

This is when you will fully understand this place… and appreciate its splendor.

The winter has arrived with a touch of extra excitement in our country. At the political front, social front, even economic front… but before we go into details, let’s remind ourselves of the true “perspective” of things for a while.

The adrenaline is definitely rushing in our nation’s veins these days and some might feel the history is being made here… the truth is, we just don’t know much to make any statement, or take any side.

We know for a fact that not having any civil rights is not a good idea. Freedom, basic fundamental rights… we would feel disturbed if we don’t have them… and rightly so.

To some extent we also know what circumstances led to this eventuality. Media playing live coverage of suicide bombings… corrupt politicians playing their agenda and cards one after the other… won’t they take some blame for what’s happening today?

Do we really know if judiciary was actually fighting for the nation’s rights, or was there a more narrow agenda involved there too… a personal vengeance at the cost of national interests? maybe… maybe not.

We also don’t know what choices the government had at hand? Was emergency better of the many evils? Or were there many better options that they simply ignored? In other words, was it a last resort to maintain order, or a convenient lifeline option to maintain power?

As I said, there’s quite a lot that we just don’t know.

What we do know, nonetheless, is that we have been there, done that, over and over again.

In 60 years of Pakistan’s history there have been around 30 under pure military rule.
In 60 years we hardly had 10 with free and independent media. Even less with free and independent judiciary.
Militancy is nothing new to us as well. We knew Taliban long before the world heard the word for the first time.
We have had our share of corrupt politicians right from the word go. We probably had more than our share.

Tragic as it is, the above is our history. We are in it together.

No matter what side we take today, no matter what story we believe in, we must take a moment to remember our history and learn from it.

We must also remember that there are certain elements in all circles; government, opposition parties, lawyers, media, students… everywhere, who are honest to their job and believe in what they are doing. At the same time there are certain elements in all these circles who are running a personal agenda, playing their cards one after the other, leading the country to hell.

No matter which side we are on, we need to ensure we are with the right people within that group. At the end of the day most of us have the same goals to achieve. Let hope we all get there together!!!

At the Dhobi Ghat, all it takes is a shining sun, some water, and soulful hard work…

Image Credit: Daily Times

It was one of those nights when a bunch of celebrities… I think around 22 of them… had ended up at LUMS. There was Atif Aslam, Ali Zafar, even Abrar ul Haq… none of them was playing music however; instead they were playing cricket… Yes sir, pure, unadulterated, tape ball, 20Twenty cricket. When I reached there the flood lights were on, commentators were rambling about similarities between Abrar ul Haq and Misbah ul Haq, and an intense match was on in the middle, between Rock Stars eleven and Pop Stars eleven. Atif Aslam was bowling his heart out, a pretty impressive crowd of students as well as outsiders (even some families) was shouting its lungs out, Ali Zafar took an impressive catch, and someone standing near me almost fainted.

The event was called “Celebrities Vs. Celebrities TapeBall Cricket Match”; sponsored by Wateen and FM 91, arranged by jbnjaws, and in collaboration with SLUMS… For the uninitiated; SLUMS stands for “Sports Society at LUMS”… in the same lines as DRUMS stands for Debates and Recitation Society at LUMS and PLUMS stands for Publications of students at LUMS… anyway back to the tournament, there were a host of pop music bands out there performing on the field with gloves on, looking for the ultimate glory, the Wateen Trophy. Up against the pop stars and the rock stars was a team of LUMS as well. The music at the background was on. Live drummers were on the roll. But nobody was taking the game lightly, especially not in the final few overs of Pop vs. Rock match. The pop team ended up needing 12 runs of the last over. Immediate references were made of Pakistan vs. India 20Twenty world cup final. And there was actually a pin drop silence when the last ball was bowled, and the batting side, needing 3 runs to win, managed 2, to tie the match…. What a close finish. And reminiscent of any street match in Pakistan, massive confusion ensued as to who won… would it be decided on run rate? Or would there be a “bowl out”… the commentator showed no interest in hiding his emotions at the mention of “bowl out” and the crowd burst in laughter. The officials ultimately decided to do a “rematch” of 5 overs each… the match was on, again.

It turned out to be a fun evening. The pop stars had most of the fun as many agreed with the fact that such type of an activity far outweighed the parties they had been used to all along. It didn’t matter who won at the end, as everyone enjoyed the event to the fullest; the crowd as well as the players. At the end of the day (end of the night in this case) I had to agree with the organizers that “scene” was definitely on at LUMS… my other takeaway was that some of our celebrities (specially Atif Aslam) actually play very good cricket. Maybe our national selectors need to be there in next such tournament. After all, I heard it was something similar to this where Wasim Akram was picked up by the eagle eyes of Imran Khan, as the future star of Pakistan!!!