Archive for the ‘Humor’ Category

Such Bolo, Such Tolo

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“Such Bolo, Such Tolo, Jhoot Mutt Bolo”
“Tell the truth, weigh fair, do not lie”

Let’s see who can translate the couplet on the ‘rairrha’… :)

Only in Lahore: Restroad

…and just when we, at LMB, were having a toast at all the praises Tee Emm of KMB had for Lahori roads, we (sadly) encountered this! :(

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An open manhole covered with a broken commode.

As a Lahori, I find this extremely embarrassing – but not more than this! ;)

Image Source: Daily Times

Hit him baby one more time!

Just imagine

Pakistan Cricket Team in the field at a stadium in Johannesburg, South Africa

Time for some practice shots

Shahid Afridi stands on the pitch to bat as Muhammad Asif prepares for the first throw

Captain Shoaib Malik sends Shoaib Akhtar to do the wicket keeping as everyone else is busy having a Pepsi in the lounge while watching Reema on ‘Yeh Ghar Aapka Hoa’!

Asif readies himself for the delivery

His eyes on Shoaib Akhtar

He remembers the guy who suggested him to take a course of pills by Hakim Naz Pindi Walay to strenthen his grip on ball

He cannot forget how it landed him in trouble after the infamous doping scandal

A deadly silence prevails except for an eagle’s cry in the stadium skies

Asif paces

Runs..

Aims…

Not for the stumps….

But for Akhtar…..

Throws……

and the ball is off!

Afridi lifts his bat for the ball which strangely seems out of the alignment

The delivery catches Akhtar by surprise

TONNN!!

Hits nothing but Akhtar’s tind

Dharrum! the keeper falls

———-
5 minutes later
———-

The team is disrupted of their show as Asif bursts into the lounge, running

Akhtar enters the room with a bat

Everyone runs for safety

Asif desperately tries to hide in the toilet which is locked

Akhtar, frowning with anger, is standing in front of Asif now

Afridi enters the room and he’s out of his breath

‘Mera Balla!’

Akhtar throws a strong, threatening stare at him

Afridi runs out of the lounge

Akhtar turns to Asif who is shivering with fear now

Rwl Xpress approaches Asif

Everyone in the room looks away to avoid watching someone fall

SMACK!!

———-
Next Day
———-

Newspapers carry the news of Shoaib Akhtar being immediately called back on disciplinary grounds after he hit Muhammad Asif on his THIGH after sharing a heated argument…. 8-|

Only in Lahore: Aaj Kal Kay Larkay (Just to balance out)

I had posted some valid and useful information on girls (Aaj Kal Ki Larkiyan) few days ago in this blog post. Which had created a bit of Controversy and I started getting loads of threatening calls from real angry girls.

Just for the sake of secrecy, I have decided not to mention the names of those terrorist girls! *angel face*. Well still if anyone wanna wonder and guess, you may please feel free to comment.

So just to balance it all out: Here goes something that I found on Youtube that shows the current situation (and “mental imbalance”) of the Boys of our Lahori society. :)

Idealy, you should let it load first (while you go and grab a glass of water, or even eat your dinner, depends on your net connection). Sit, relax, pump up the volume and enjoy the ‘bongi’. :)

*Laughing ^with Khisyani Hansi^ just like one the camera man has*.

Plus there was another post (Rush Hour Thoughts) which fairly gives the idea of Traffic problems in Lahore these days. I think this can be an example of how we can utilize our time. It is indeed a good time pass! :) ain’t it?

Only In Lahore: Super(man) Pants

:))

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Aalim Online’s On-air Blunder!

I don’t know if anyone remembers it or not, but I think I should share one of the funny incidents happened in Lahore on Last year’s Ramazan.

Just after Sehri Transmission, when usually people are busy in Wuzu followed by Namaz. And just when some run to their beds to have few more moments of calm sleep before they finally wake up for the day. By that time, most of us turn off our TV sets. Usually I do that same, but those days, I had my room upstairs and I left my TV switched-ON while going downstairs for Sehri.

Hence, when after a Fajar namaz, when I came back to my room to get my dress for the day, I noticed that my room’s TV was still ON. And our famous Aalim Online program was on-air but in the ending minutes. Some Maulana Sahib was doing Dua and dua was getting unusually longer. Though he was praying it so well that my feet just stopped in front of TV set and I started praying too. Then my younger brother came, noticed too and stood beside me in homage (respect).

Now scene mulahiza farmayen.

Camera on Maulana Sahib (Usually Sunni’s):
Maulana Sahib is doing sentimental dua.

Camera moved to Maulana sahib 2 (Usually Shia’s):
He’s listening to dua too with his hands up. Saying Ameen, Ameen.
Sentimental again.

Camera immediately moved to Dakter Aamir Liaquat Hussain:
Our dear Aalim Online is furiously waving his left hand. Trying to stop maulvi sahib with fierce facial impressions. Silently asking him to finish off (wind-up) quickly. In fact pleeding irritably.

Thats not all.

Suddenly noticing cam on himself:
Our dear aalim online (who thought he was offline, suddenly after noticing he’s online) switched his furious facial impression dramatically into a sentimental expression as if his eyes are wet and like he was never been more sad in his life ever in the past. And started saying Ameen, Ameen!
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The way he totally moved from one state into another, he did so fast and so well that hardly people could notice. But I and my brother, who were watching it all, stared at each other *mouth-opened and disappointed*, closed the TV set and life moved on… :|

Anyhow, does anybody know why did he resign from his post anyway? Interestingly when current government’s tenure has almost finished and elections are near already! :)

No end to Imagination: A story

Recently I was honored to meet Mr. Fighter in R.A. Bazaar of Cantt, Lahore.
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Jaisa Dais, Waisa Bhaes … ;)

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Enjoy the desi treatment of Mini Mouse :)

The Need for Training

Sir, please look into the matter of providing technical training to the terrorists of our federal capital.
Investments in infrastructure and equipment never brings any improvement unless proper training is imparted to the human capital.
It may be encouraging to see the trainees actually being able to trans-locate an anti-aircraft weapon into the congested areas of Pindi, it is also heartening to see that the secret route of the president’s plan was compromised. But the ability to actually take aim and use the weapon was beyond our human resource. In the times of Mullah Omars and Al Sadrs, there surely is something amiss in our vision and agenda.
Fourth time around and still unlucky, this can’t be; we need proper training schools.

Kaun Kehta Hai…

I couldn’t resist sharing this piece that a friend on Orkut forwarded me:

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Who says that I will die,
I’m Maulana afterall,
Clad in a burqa, will off I fly!

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